Gone

I wonder if anyone would miss me if I was gone.

I assume my mum would miss me for a bit. Although she has two married kids, so I suppose there’s enough life success there already. I’m the black sheep. Maybe they’re all just waiting for me to disappear. Maybe my mother had such high life goals for me, and then I pissed it all away but getting depressed, some days barely able to get out of bed and getting drunk at home.

Work would be annoyed. I assume they would handle it eventually, but they would just be annoyed. Hopefully my laptop will be at work, so my family doesn’t have to find a way to bring it back to them. Maybe one of the current team will step up and be the manager.

I wonder what they will but in my Out of Office.

My friends might wonder where I’ve gone, but would anyone actively search in this world where being friends on Facebook substitutes for real interaction?

And I’d have to wait out my obligations, like Bris Funny Fest. No point leaving at a time that inconveniences other people.

Sometimes I just think about packing up and disappearing. Starting a new life, where I can pretend to be someone else. Someone worthwhile. But where am I ever going to find a job like the one I have, something I know very well, have achieved a level of success, am being paid the highest I’ve ever been paid and have a bit of freedom.

Maybe I should just run away and start a new life. But goddamn it, searching for a new job is so bloody difficult, especially if you can’t give references from your last job.

 

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